May 20, 2012

  • A Hairy Question…

    A few years back, a man I know freaked me out…by touching my hair.

    (The stuff on my head, you pervs.)

     

    His wife has very short, severe hair…mine is worn long.

    I was waiting in front of my daughter’s school, he came up behind me, and started TO UNBRAID MY HAIR.

    I had a fit. That was over the line—you do NOT touch a woman’s hair casually.  That is intimate.

    At the time, half my friends agreed with me…the other half though it was odd…but not a big deal.

     

    So…question of the day…is touching a woman’s hair an intimacy? Should someone you barely know feel ok doing it? Is it ok to get upset?

    Oh…and if you have the time, I’ve love to hear the logic behind your answer. Guys? Is a man touching your woman’s hair ok? Or is he hitting on her?

Comments (22)

  • No one touches my hair or my body without my permission.  That is crossing my boundaries and invading my person space.

  • Touching part of anyone’s body without permission is crossing a line; you have every right to be upset.

  • I don’t really like my hair messed with mainly because no matter how short or long it get tangled easy I don’t mind having my hair brushed but I don’t think I would want anyone but hubby daughters or sisters do it…I think a person should ask first…I bet he just likes long hair and wishes wife would grow hers out…I mean if he asked and I knew him well enough I might let him braid my hair… Heck I don’t know good question, but he should ask before touching

  • Of course, he shouldn’t have done that! I would have given him my most enervating stinkeye! About the only contact I find acceptable is a light touch on the arm to get me out of the way or as emphasis during a conversation. In fact, that’s the reason I don’t like to get my hair cut and can’t stand the idea of getting a massage.

  • Neva, eva, touch my hair without asking.

  • The little kids at one of my client’s schools touch my hair, but they’re 3 and 4.  I think it’s cute and it feels really good, but if it’s just some random weirdo in public I’d fucking flip, man.  I don’t blame ya.  And you know what?  Who cares who agrees.  IT IS YOUR HAIR AND THEREFORE YOUR PROPERTY, you get to decide what happens to it, conventional or not.  Long hair does so much for women’s attractiveness, especially as they get older and so many start to keep it short.  As long as mine doesn’t start thinning again, I am so keeping it long too!!

  • Thanks…I was pretty hot about it (in a non-good way). My thought was that it IS my hair…and touching any part of a woman without permission is a BIG no no…when I recoiled he looked confused…even HURT. Hello? Grown up male, in his 40′s…married with kids. How did he NOT grasp that upbraiding a woman’s hair was an unwelcome contact?

  • Ooh, I freak out about personal space.  I don’t like to be touched by strangers at all.  And there are certainly parts of my body that are meant only for a boyfriend/husband to touch.  Those are the obvious places and other non-sexual places like my legs, above my elbow, the small of my back, and most definitely my hair! 

    And even worse, he unbraided your hair?  WTF??? How dare he not only touch your hair but decide to undo what you had done to it.  I probably would have smacked him.  That would have been far beyond any line. 

    Touching anybody’s hair is an act of intimacy. 

  • I am 78 and would never ever touch a lady’s hair. That is way over the line. I know it could possibly be done in a non-sexual way, but I would never do it. No, I would not like another man playing with my wife’s hair.

  • Touching your hair or anything on your body is crossing the line and a BIG invasion of your personal space. And if it is by someone you don’t know or are personal with, you have every right to be upset. A friend of mine’s husband once brushed my bangs back from my face talking to me and that made me very angry! I told my husband since he was his friend, to explain to him that next time he crosses that line and touch any part of me, I just might cut his hand off!!!!!

  • I get mad too. Imagine having moron madonna come in with her cure. She was obviously wrong. I have been wrong before as well. It is why i listen to other peoples views.

  • @TiredSoVeryTired - Thanks lady…that was EXACTLY my response. That would be like me walking up to him with a comb, and restyling his hair.

    KINJITE. Forbidden.

  • I definitely would not be ok with a random man or woman touching my hair. I don’t know if I necessarily think that it’s intimate, but it would just be weird for a random person to start playing with my hair. 

  • Damn, he could’ve at least asked first.  Creepy dude.

  • NO NO NO!!!  Nobody touches my hair unless they know me very very well.  Well, except my parents and sibs, who do know me very well.  If a stranger so much as even tried, they might be surprised what would happen next and I know for a fact, any man I’ve been with would have decked whomever it was. As far as I’m concerned, that is an act of intimacy and this dude crossed a very serious personal line of demarcation!!

    **I’ll bet your reading this with your mouth open since I rarely comment on your blogs. I do read them, hun and this one just happened to touch the right spot!   ((((HUGS))))

  • it’s not appropriate at all. it’s a deliberate act of intimacy in my opinion and i’ve been a man all my life. 

  • He unbraided your hair?  That is beyond strange.  It would have creeped me out as well.  I think it is even weird for a stranger to ask to touch your hair.

  • unbraiding is just beyond the pale. it is so not ok for anyone (other than my husband and a hairdresser i pay) to touch, unbraid, stroke, tousle, CUT (ehem romney), lick, blow into my hair. i would feel violated. mind, it’s not sexual assault but it  is most inappropriate. it is downright creepy besides

    my logic is any part of my body–hair most included, is not ok for just anyone to touch

  •         interestingly I’ve just never ran across this problem.  I’vew been invited over for massage husband walks in – far more is at stake propriety wise if I ran into a disrespected wife I’d have been shot long ago I never feared that.  everything is intimacy but until t and a are on display typicall a especially, there isn’t a problem..but as such is intimacy or on the road to that- it all comes down to how comfortable you are while guarding the best for the one you love or wish to.

  • You don’t touch anyone without their permission or to save them from walking into a truck. An adult who does what you said sounds like they are somewhat derailed.

  • @spinner_mom - He was a balding accountant…and kids I do not mind…thet don’t know about “personal space”. 

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