November 13, 2012
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Rant Alert “Be Strong”.
Ok…if you’re here, you’re foolish enough to ignore the implicit warning in the blog title.
I am going HULK ballistic.
I was talking to a dear friend, and mentioned how antsy I am about the next surgery (don’t ask…don’t wanna talk about it) and they said it…
“Be Strong.”
I know it was well meant…but I feel like I have BEEN STRONG my entire life, in situations where others would have fallen, or faltered. I’ve kept myself upright through ONE HELL of a lot…and I’ve even tried to help other people out along the way. I don’t do “helpless”. I can fathom “oh rescue me!”. And I sure as HELL don’t believe in knights in shining armor…but JESUS…everyone has a shit limit…and right now, I am at mine. I know…it isn’t easy to know what to say when someone hits a rough patch…but I promise you “Be strong” is not one of the things that makes you feel better.
What makes you feel better is curling up in a ball.
If there happens to be someone around to offer a long hug…even better.
But…don’t say “be strong”.
I am.
I know how.
But I am also damned tired of it. I have no idea how some people float through life. But I know people who managed. And it sort of blows my mind. How can you live like that? Letting other people pick up after you…fix your problems…solve your issues? That’s being an eternal six year old…and it’s not for me. But…man…I miss Craig. His birthday was the other day, and he was the ONE person I knew who would always know exactly what to say. Sometimes it didn’t FEEL that way…but the more I thought about what he said, the more sense it made. And he knew when I needed nothing…but a sturdy hug.
I treasure that I had him in my life. But days like today, I miss him something awful….
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Comments (11)
You’re right in my case. I often don’t know what can be said and I often say the wrong thing in spite of my best intentions. I can imagine you’re missing your dear friend but there are others who love and care about you and appreciate having you as a friend.
I say screw being strong all the time. Sometimes going into your bed/shower/safe space and falling apart and crying your face off for half an hour does a world of good to release stress. Good luck! I hope all goes well.
“It’s a good life if you don’t weaken,” my grandmother used to say, “but who in the hell wants to be strong?”
@we_deny_everything - I can do it. I HAVE done it…but you’re right.
@TiredSoVeryTired - Thanks Lady. I deal with stuff. I put off my panics until it’s over, for the most part…but I am DAMNED tired of it…
@TheSutraDude - I know Dude…and thanks.
Yes, I have other friends. But Craig had a real gift for “being there”.
@galadrial - I remember you’ve spoken about him in the past. He sounds like he was a wonderful person.
All I have ever known to say was “I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best.”
And absolutely yes, everyone has their limit. I hate reaching mine.
All I can say is I will pray that everything goes well and you are on the mend quickly… and if ya need to vent just send me a private message I will read it and just let ya vent
@SisterMae - Thanks lady…I’m some better…I just had to fume a bit!
@TheSutraDude - He was.
I will always treasure the time I knew him…and will be the richer for it.
I suspect I would not be who I am, had it not been for his care and support.