January 21, 2013
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For The Dipshit Who Thinks Women Can Safely just “Walk Away”
If you read the story, you’ll notice that the police are freaking out about the level of similar crimes happening in their town.
I went looking for the stats…and found one that stopped me in my tracks.
Fifty six percent of women who are murdered are killed by their husbands, or ex’s.
Oh…and men commit over 80 percent of the murders in the US today…so if you want to talk about something this serious, it might help if you KNEW WHAT THE HELL you’re talking about.
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Comments (26)
Let people believe in fairy tales. That’s my stance. You can’t and won’t change their minds because unfortunately people learn through experience. If you have never been in that kind of situation then you don’t know. I would bet money if this was an argument about protecting your house, car, money, or random physical assault those guys would have no problem arguing that sometimes a person really does have no choice but to choose between them or me.
this is tragic and happens more and more
and those stats sound just about right. sadly
Similar ones have been happening here as well. It is becoming more common now. No matter how it is been discussed, this seems to be going on
yes women can leave but when they do, the legal help that is supposed to be there comes to slow and to late.
he beats her half to death and when he goes to court he is all cleaned up and innocent looking.
he says he has no memory and had an abusive childhood, so they slap his wrist with another restraining order and counseling
.He stalked her as soon as she go tout of the hospital and no matter how many times he was tossed in jail, he still got out and came after her again.
She had to move, give up her job and her friends, change her phone number, get a different car, cut her hair off and color it, and he still found her.
He hunted her for years and one day with a single shot he ended her life.he is out of prison and remarried and she is dead.
Where is the justice in that.
It’s disgusting how some people can live in their little bubble of obliviousness and fantasy, where the world is all rosy and nothing bad ever happens.
It is horrible. Some argue we only need to keep weapons away from the mentally ill. No doubt that would help to curb violence, injury and death slightly but in this story is one of far too many examples that otherwise normal people, normal to a greater or lesser extent can fly into a rage and resort to violence. It happens all the time.
There are a multitude of reasons why women often don’t or can’t just walk away.
The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the abused person leaves. It is heartbreaking to see this happen over and over again.
I can get on this bandwagon with you. I work at a domestic violence emergency shelter. When I tell people the information they are shocked. Women who leave their abusive partners are 75 times more likely to be killed than at any other time. So why don’t they leave?? They’re afraid.
I also think the remedy from this problem has to come from men. They need to be accountable to one another and men who do not abuse need to step it up when they know of a man who is. When 80-95% of this type is committed by MEN, it’s a MEN’s issue, not a women’s issue.
What dipshit are you referring to? Have you been arguing with MRAs? I feel your pain.
THANK YOU!! I’ve been caught in a week long argument with a dipshit.
Possible the same one.
it’s a long old road, out of some weird societal position on permissive violence, ala bullshit— into a more enlightened and just world. disparity in such a realm of violence is shameful, truly, and systemic changes need be made to better protect/serve the notion of equality.
thanks for the provocation of thoughts. sorry for the trainofthought spew.
@transvestite_rabbit - I really should not waste my precious time on those, should I?
But I have this serious allergy to bullshit and whining…
That is just awful anyone thinks it can be prevented when a man turns murderer.
@Erika_Steele - The thing is some people BELIEVE the fairy tales. The town next to me had a missing mom several years back. Her toddler son was found in Delaware—and a friend of mine happened to catch the news report with his picture, and recognized him. (That was a miracle in itself…he told later he NEVER watched Philadelphia TV…but that day he was tuned in. News from Delaware didn’t hit the New York Stations. He called the number, and told them he thought he knew who the child was.
It was the beginning of a godawful murder case. The mom stayed missing…and the baby’s father, a mob connected scum bag who was also married became a “person of interest”. He claimed Amy just took off…but no one who knew her believed it. She was a single mom, and her son mattered more to her than anything. Then he claimed she had called him several times…and THEN he fled the US for Italy. They hauled his ass back, but for over a year, all they could nail him for was abandoning his child in a hospital parking lot.
The whole time, his family INSISTED it was all a mistake…that the missing mom was nothing but a trouble making whore…you get the picture.
They finally used his cell phone records,and noticed that during the time Amy went missing, he had DOZENS of calls to a friend of his. It didn’t take much leaning. The buddy gave him up, and told them where they could find MOST of her body. He had used power tools to cut her in pieces.
The fairy tale was too dangerous. I prefer the truth—because it NEEDS said sometimes.
@Ikwa - The moron was talking about women who murder their husbands so they don’t have to go through divorce.He seemed to think it was a new “trend”.
@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - Yes…and no.
(Nice to meet you, btw!)
It’s a woman’s issue if people still ignore the facts.
I also found out the leading cause of death for Pregnant women is murder…usually at the hands of the fetal father. The MRA’s try to pass it off as a form of abuse TO men…but it’s the women dying.
@galadrial - oh I was responding to the statement and the video. I am guessing the propensity to murder a spouse is increased if one owns a gun.
@Ikwa - Lady…I just wish people UNDERSTOOD what weapons are. Handguns are not used for hunting…their exclusive purpose is to kill. Yeah, I know…people feel the need to “protect” themselves. But I know families who have lost kids to one unguarded moment…accidents happen…and there is no taking it back.
But when people are fighting…weapons are drawn. The reality of a gun is erased by anger. In this case, the man went to his daughter’s Sweet Sixteen with a gun. He meant to use it.
And I did not mean to jump on you…you are always a voice of calm and reason!
@galadrial - I must have missed that one. Don’t link it. It will piss me off. I know people believe in the fairy tale, I just think that for some people, they won’t be able to see reality unless it hits them in the face with a shovel. I wish there was some way that posts like this one wasn’t just preaching to the choir. Most people will continue to believe in the fairy tale until it happens to them or someone that they love.
@Erika_Steele - Well…the “good news” is that they nailed his slimy ass. He’s only going to serve 21 years…but considering that he could have walked, it’s something.
I know of someone right now that’s in a situation where her husband made quite a few comments about killing himself and his family (her as well). They recently got married, but they’ve been together for 6-7 years. She’s someone that I’ve know for a very long time (since my late teens). I told her that she needs to take this *very* seriously. He’s been very depressed, they argue a lot, and he blames her for it. I try to tell her that she needs to take this very seriously and leave his ass immediately, for her own safety. Normal people don’t go around making comments like that. He’s stated that he could easily shoot her in her sleep and she wouldn’t feel a thing. WTF!?!?! You don’t fuck around with that kind of shit (man or woman). I can’t help her because she’s like 2000 miles away. And what makes it worse is that she has no family or such that she can rely on where she lives now. She’s stated that there’s no way he’ll let her leave with the car, so she’s stuck. I *know* there’s got to be something or some services or… I dunno something she can do.
For some reason, she’s more pissed/annoyed than scared. I’m not sure what else I can do.
Kind of strange that this showed up on my list/rec’s just a week after I had this conversation with her.
@specificallyrandom - In the area where I used to live, the shelters and housing are allocated on an emergency basis…and that means the most urgent first. If you don’t have a recent police report for domestic violence, AND hospital records to back it, you are not getting in…because there is a list of women who have those things—and are still waiting.
I understand your friend…it’s easier to be angry than scared. Scared makes you freeze. And you can’t afford to be frozen in place.
I used to babysit for a woman who worked for the local Women’s Refuge. She warned me never to answer the door without looking to see if I recognised the caller because SHE had been threatened by the husband of tenant who had tracked her to her own home. The police claimed that their hands were tied until he did something.
The refuge had to move home in the end because if you wanted to find it all you had to was get in a taxi and ask for it!
@holeinyoursoul - Pretty much.
And yet people make it sound like women just get pissed over the toilet seat being left up, grab the kids and move into some sort of luxe setting, on the public dime, on a WHIM.
The Shelters are not only packed—they constantly struggle against budget cuts, and they are not always safe. I spoke to one place where I was told that my daughter (then 15) might not be “safe” at the shelter. I pressed for details…but they clammed up. That’s a hell of a thing to hear…the place you may have to go to feel safe isn’t that…for your child.
@chronic_masticator - That’s because they choose to see what they want to see and turn a blind eye to everything else. Most of the time, there are subtle and obvious signs of disturbing behavior and nobody picks up on it. Then, when the victim dies, some bystanders cry, ring their hands, and start asking how and why something like that happened.
@RealistMe - The law puts the burden of proving menace on the would be victim…possibly to prevent malicious behavior…but you are correct…too often it turns into an epitaph…