January 29, 2013
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“Special Somewhere Else”
By now, most of you caught the story of the waiter in Texas, who took a stand in his restaurant and declined to serve a table that was being jerks about a family with a special needs kid. Some of you probably applauded his action…a few probably shrugged, and wonder why it was news.
As the parent of a child who was classified as special needs, I found it both valiant, and incredibly sad. How shallow we have all become. The people who were not served felt like they had the right to COMMENT on someones kid…for just being there. “Special needs children need to be “special” somewhere else.” Hateful.
But all too typical. They may have been low class enough to say it…but others were probably THINKING it. I’ve seen it…the way people notice a special needs child, and their eyes cart away. UNCLEAN. Odd. Uncomfortable. As if that child will inflict their “cooties” on other children. But it’s not just the special needs children who are targeted. The Old. The Fat. Anyone who doesn’t fit into a cookie cutter, Hollywood inspired pigeon hole about what people are supposed to look like. It’s not new, I suppose. In the dark ages, to have a disability, or to have survived a serious accident that marred your appearance, you were simply EXPECTED to keep to the shadows. You were hidden away by your family, so people would not be horrified.
They did that with the insane, the “feeble minded”, even their elderly. Ye olde family portrait didn’t include the “rejects”, who were considered dirty secrets.
In the Special Needs world, we are keen on “inclusion”. That includes being able to take your kids out, and interacting “normally”, without worrying that some mindless moron will makes comments, sniff, and act obnoxious about our existence. I have an interesting formula I apply to people’s behavior. If they object to someone, I ask myself “If the same objection was made on the basis of race, would it be allowed? Encouraged? Or would most people back away from being “racist”? People need to get over themselves. We shouldn’t have to apologize for our kids—EVER.
Several years ago, my daughter had a birthday party with her friends. (She was turning 18) We took them all out to her favorite restaurant, and Desi chose a Tiki theme. She donned a fake coconut bra (OVER her tee shirt) Wore a flower lei in her hair, and put a grass skirt over her shorts. She looked adorable. But off to the side sat an older woman with her friends. She STARED at Desi…and it was not a whimsical look. We’re talking DAGGERS. I have no idea what pissed her off…maybe she just disliked the sight of young people enjoying themselves. So I stared at HER. It took about five minutes for her to notice my glare. I tried to give it every bit of the hatefulness hers had held. And then she finally got the deal…and looked away.
“Special Somewhere Else”? Lady…our kids will be special (in a good way) WHEREVER they are.
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Comments (8)
She looked beautiful. I hope she enjoyed her birthday party despite of the way that woman was acting.
@galadrial I think since the time of post 9/11, the hate and discrimination towards all kinds of people have gotten much worse. Now, that we have even more high tech gadgets, it helps exacerbate these issues. Discrimination always has been and always will exist, but having a new gadget released every nano second makes it easier to exploit people’s flaws, for the whole world to see. You might be asking yourself, “What is she talking about?” LOL!
My point is that we can’t permanently escape hate and discrimination. I face it every time I go to the grocery store. If I don’t have to deal with people guessing my nationality, I have to deal with people gawking at how huge my breasts are and guys thinking, that I’m attracted to them because I asked for a small favor. I spend most my time at home because I don’t feel like dealing with issues, that I can sometimes avoid. I roll with the punches but I avoid them at every cost, if I can help it. LOL!
Happy Birthday to her! It’s disgusting how if you aren’t “normal” you don’t fit in or belong anywhere. I commend the waiter for being such a great person and despise anyone who treats special needs individuals with a different perspective of human being.
@RealistMe - Pardon…but I didn’t get your point…unless you’re suggesting that we should be tolerant of hate? Sorry…doesn’t work for me. Once upon a time, Slavery had ALWAYS existed…until it didn’t. I’ve watched a lot of people more wrapped up in hating someone else, than dealing with their own lives and issues. So I am not going to encourage, or enable hate…that simple.
People are so incredibly rude. Who knows what was up that lady’s butt? Your daughter looked beautiful, and I hope she had a wonderful birthday!
@galadrial - You missed my point. I didn’t say be “tolerant of hate.” Like I’ve said in the past, I KNOW what it’s like to deal with racism, sexism, discrimination, etc. I was trying to empathize with your situation.
tell people like that to go be rude somewhere else – .. but oh, usually people are tolerant of that. glad that guy wasn’t.
i also love when comments hardly relate to the content of the post.^^
@consignedhearts111 - That could depend on the topic. I find that you can step on people’s toes when something is near and dear to the heart.