May 8, 2012

  • Community?

    A few weeks back, I blogged about how it feels to be handicapped, in a world where people are either too rude, or too rushed to be considerate. Today, I witnessed a small event in the Walmart lot that again gave me pause. It didn’t happen to me. Another woman was struggling to walk…I am guessing she recently had low spinal surgery, and is trying to regain her mobility. Her gait was ridgid, and she looked like she hurt.

    She was on a cell phone—in front of a loaded cart. I was looking for a space, so I passed her a few times. I finally got one—and then noticed the woman who had taken the space next to me talking to—or rather AT the woman. She was MAD. Apparently, the woman’s friend had parked as closely as possible, so she would not have to walk further. (She had no handicapped tag, I am guessing) I should point out that he friend was obeying the law…the front of Walmart is a fire zone…so she put her car at the end  of an asile, behind the handicapped row.

    But the able bodied woman was MAD. They were in her way. I don’t think she was help up more than five seconds…but she NEEDED to express that anger.

    SERIOUSLY? Is this woman’s life so small and miserable, that she has to take her frustrations out on someone in obvious pain? She couldn’t have been in a huge hurry…she was going into WALMART. They don’t have an emergency room. I can’t think of a single thing that would have caused the able bodied woman to go off like that.

    The woman she went off on flipped out. I guess she was a bit shocked by the behavior. I have a friend who has a handicapped placard for his daughter. He only uses it when she is with him…but he has been questioned, and sassed by others who DEMAND to know what he did to “deserve it”. So it’s not just me…being over senstive…and I find myself wondering what is going on in people’s heads, or lives.

     

    Are you really so desperate, that the thought that someone who who may have trouble walking is allowed a closer space…making it less painful for them sends you into a rage? Do you really feel like something is being “taken” from you?

     

    You rage about “entitlement”, why? Anyone who needs the space, or the electric carts would really rather NOT…and honestly, we don’t feel “entitled”. I suspect a lot feel the way i do…a bit embarassed that we need something out of the ordinary…and we’d like to feel grateful that it exists…but honestly, we could live without the attitude? It isn’t costing you anything, Sunshine…and btw…the day may come when you, or someone you care for needs such a thing.

     

    What is going on today—that people are so hateful? Times are hard…but when it was boom time, I really didn’t notice a lot of human kindness happening. I remember being relieved, when my daughter was finally placed in an out of district school, where they were able to sort out her needs, and issues. I was telling a friend about it…and suddenly found myself facing a HARANGUE—about how high the taxes were for a kid like MINE…as if my taxes hadn’t paid for everyone else’s kids, long before I had one of my own?

    I’m wondering about “community”. and when we stopped being about that. When we first moved here, I had no family close by. I was always floored when people assumed “someone would help”. We got by…we made it. I never expected help…but I tried to be helpful, when other people needed a hand. But my god…people have just gotten so thoughtless, and mean.

     

    What the hell is wrong with us?

Comments (14)

  • My gut instinct (WRONG) is to say where the hell do you live that all those awful people are? (as in, what state).

    I know that’s got nothing to do with it, this just makes me see every possible shade of RED AND PURPLE and it makes me SO FUCKING MAD

    so I don’t want to believe it’s everywhere in America. but it can be.

    It makes me so mad…my own mom is slowing down.  My own mom got RUSHED, she felt rushed by some asshole so she over-hurried, that happened to her last year, caused her to break her back from rushing.

    When you’re 82, you can break your back from rushing. 

    FUCKERS.  cold, cruel but mostly SELF CENTERED.

    How did you resist from cussing out able bodied lady?  I’m not sure I’d have resisted.  Only of course AFTER assisting the impaired lady.

  • you said it, we could live without the attitude? It isn’t costing you anything, Sunshine…and btw…the day may come when you, or someone you care for needs such a thing.

    brilliant. been thinking about such things myself. and i have to admit i’ve been a jerk in the past, not for lack of empathy but for not thinking about anything at all. just sort of being in my own black bubble, oblivious. 

  • @bonmots - the day may come, the day is virtually inevitable. If a person lives long enough, their beloved parent will slow down, their beloved pet, their beloved anything, their self beloved self, if they live long enough.

    BASTARDS!

  • there is something terribly wrong in this country. i can point to several signposts i believe led to or at least were indicators of where we were headed that got us here today. don’t despair though. just think of all the wonderful people in the world and there are many. “The darker the night the nearer the dawn. The colder the winter the nearer the spring.” i always take encouragement from those words. 

  • That is awful and that woman must have a miserable life to be so damn mean.  Her karma is going to come back and kick her in the butt big time.

  • about 6 months ago i went to a Chinese restaurant to get takeout. i usually go there in the late afternoon when there are not many customers and the staff is eating, reading or texting. a boy of about 12 came to the register to take my order. he was so very sweet, polite and well-spoken. he took my order and brought it back to the kitchen. when my food came his mother came to the register for me to pay. he was standing next to her. i paid and then gave her another dollar. i said, “this is for your son. he’s such a nice young man.” she smiled and was so happy her smile beamed and he thanked me in the politest tone of voice. i got home and thought, “shit. a dollar? what were you thinking? that is nothing today.” nonetheless i felt good inside that i was thoughtful. i learned to be thoughtful from people who learned to be thoughtful from other thoughtful people. it’s the greatest feeling in the world and it catches on like wildfire. 

  • People blow their tops when under pressure, often from elsewhere. Unfortunately, some people seem to blow their tops on an almost  permanent basis. Not good for living together that’s for sure.

  • She’s right. Peole do have to pay taxes for handicapped children but isn’t that the point of taxation? So that the able-bodied help those who need it?

  • @Nushirox2 - That is the point of society, yes…but the mind numb confuse that with socialism. They talk about letting “charity” do the job…but from what I’ve read, every penny donated to every charity in a year would barely make a dent in the total need… not to mention that most “charity” has a bias…if you are not a member of their group, you don’t benefit.

  • While I was recovering from a car crash, I was on crutches and sometimes in a wheelchair (my ribs were broken and I cracked several other bones). Impaired or not, I still need to do my shopping and other chores.

    Not everyone is kind. All they see me is some young dude who probably involved in DUI accident.

    They think I don’t deserve the handicapped lane or parking zone. Fine. But how do they expect me to carry my groceries to the car?

  • I have given all my xanga credit away but these, keep them and use them well to further your beautiful message of hope.

    Be well.

  • @galadrial - It IS socialism.

    But socialism’s a GOOD thing.

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