So the cars are strategically parked, allowing maximum plow potential, and back where i used to live they are fretting over six inches…HA!
But i am guessing people are at the Shop Rite, freaking out and buying CASES of toilet paper.
No…not being catty…I’ve seen it!
If you’ve ever heard of NJ’s governor,you probably noticed that he’s…well…kind of big.
No, I don’t mean his ego—though clearly they need a chopper to carry THAT around too. And no, this isn’t a “hate piece” about his weight. I just find myself wondering why it’s ok for a man who had admitted to being 550 pounds to be elected to a major position in government, when women as little as 50 pounds overweight are being fat shamed.
When it comes to size, we have a gender problem.
When he was first running, I found myself asking if they would have run a woman for governor who was even HALF his size…and while there are a few hefty women in politics, local or national not a SINGLE one is near Christie’s bulk. I’m taking a bet that they are not within 200 pounds of him…and The question I must ask is why?
Because fat shaming is overwhelmingly directed at women. No…I’m not saying people don’t make fun of the man. But he made it to GOVERNOR. They actually offered him as an option. He was not shunted to some dark dank corner, so no one would have to look at him. Sure…he’s large…but people did not doubt his ability to run an entire state…they even considered him for President, and vice president. But a woman of even 300 pounds? GOD FORBID. You shameful pig! Obviously you aren’t able to do anything but eat. We let people not hire them—and cite “health issues”. Well that cuts both ways. If a woman can be denied a job for being overweight, that same standard should apply to men.
But somehow…it doesn’t…as demonstrated by CC. I’ve read of case after case where companies and corporations got away with either firing, or not hiring people who didn’t meet their standard for “corporate appearance”. Usually, it’s women who get caught in it. The other day, a doctor speculated out loud that there was an excellent chance that Christie could die in office…based on his weight. UPROAR. The remarks are stunning. Some suggest she violated his HIPPA rights. Ummmm….no. She did not steal his medical records…nor did she quote from them. She merely made an observation….one most of the late night hosts have been commenting on for years. (And before you go there, I remind you that despite the jokes, he was STILL elected. A woman would have NEVER been considered.)
And I am not doubting that this IS a health issue too…I’m just wondering what gives us the right to loathe and dismiss overweight women, while accepting men to the point of allowing them to LEAD us, even when they are WAY beyond morbidly obese.
I had the chance to meet Deborah Allen, when I was advocating for kids in Trenton…a smart, dynamic lady, with years in the State House. I remember when she was a “talking head’ on Philadelphia TV news…and then they canned her over her appearance. That led to a law suit…which she won. When I met her, she was by my guess about a size 20—and in her late 50′s. She’s smart…she speaks well. She’s damned impressive, even if I am not 100 percent with her on EVERY issue. And I wondered that day why SHE wasn’t being run. We’d had a female Governor before…so why was she less desirable as a candidate than Christie…who had ZERO state house experience?
Oh yeah…he’s a GUY.
I am just amazed how often we manage to ignore the obvious…
If you are a woman, or just love one, please share THIS link.
http://pinterest.com/pin/175640454189374328/
Done with humor, it’s still an important topic, that can literally be a life saver!
POS is closer to the mark. It started working wonky about two weeks back…refusing to charge, when I turned it on…then turning itself off abruptly. Meg nicely helped me get a new wire…but it kept saying it had “lost power” even when it was plugged in.
So I called Garmin…and talked to their “helpful staff”.
“Well Ma’am…you need a map update!”
Um. I am not IT…nor a genius with electronics…but this seemed like a POWER ISSUE…which is hardware Bint…not “software”. But we tried to hook the @#%$^( thing up to Desi’s computer…and it would not charge, take the update, or anything else. For all intents and purposes, it is now a ROCK.
I’ve been tooling around for about three years, using a GPS.
I am not fully trusting of the tech…it still tries to take me the wrong way down a one way street on occasion. I cringe when it decides to “recalculate” in heavy traffic. And I don’t like not really knowing where I am going half the time…but it does make it easier to learn an area…no argument.
At the moment, I am not loving Garmin, however.
My old GPS was replace before the move…it was no longer “current”, and the bastards were asking for 50 bucks to “update” the maps. Half the cost of a new unit…that came with lifetime updates. I should have KNOWN there was a scam element. My old unit was still quite functional…as in mechanics. The new one is having “power issues”. It keeps shutting down…almost as soon as I turn it on, making it essentially useless. So I get on the horn with Garmin, where a bright young thing informs me that I probably need to update the maps. I counted to ten. So…if I update the maps, I still can’t make the stupid thing function. Hello?
By now, most of you caught the story of the waiter in Texas, who took a stand in his restaurant and declined to serve a table that was being jerks about a family with a special needs kid. Some of you probably applauded his action…a few probably shrugged, and wonder why it was news.
As the parent of a child who was classified as special needs, I found it both valiant, and incredibly sad. How shallow we have all become. The people who were not served felt like they had the right to COMMENT on someones kid…for just being there. “Special needs children need to be “special” somewhere else.” Hateful.
But all too typical. They may have been low class enough to say it…but others were probably THINKING it. I’ve seen it…the way people notice a special needs child, and their eyes cart away. UNCLEAN. Odd. Uncomfortable. As if that child will inflict their “cooties” on other children. But it’s not just the special needs children who are targeted. The Old. The Fat. Anyone who doesn’t fit into a cookie cutter, Hollywood inspired pigeon hole about what people are supposed to look like. It’s not new, I suppose. In the dark ages, to have a disability, or to have survived a serious accident that marred your appearance, you were simply EXPECTED to keep to the shadows. You were hidden away by your family, so people would not be horrified.
They did that with the insane, the “feeble minded”, even their elderly. Ye olde family portrait didn’t include the “rejects”, who were considered dirty secrets.
In the Special Needs world, we are keen on “inclusion”. That includes being able to take your kids out, and interacting “normally”, without worrying that some mindless moron will makes comments, sniff, and act obnoxious about our existence. I have an interesting formula I apply to people’s behavior. If they object to someone, I ask myself “If the same objection was made on the basis of race, would it be allowed? Encouraged? Or would most people back away from being “racist”? People need to get over themselves. We shouldn’t have to apologize for our kids—EVER.
Several years ago, my daughter had a birthday party with her friends. (She was turning 18) We took them all out to her favorite restaurant, and Desi chose a Tiki theme. She donned a fake coconut bra (OVER her tee shirt) Wore a flower lei in her hair, and put a grass skirt over her shorts. She looked adorable. But off to the side sat an older woman with her friends. She STARED at Desi…and it was not a whimsical look. We’re talking DAGGERS. I have no idea what pissed her off…maybe she just disliked the sight of young people enjoying themselves. So I stared at HER. It took about five minutes for her to notice my glare. I tried to give it every bit of the hatefulness hers had held. And then she finally got the deal…and looked away.
“Special Somewhere Else”? Lady…our kids will be special (in a good way) WHEREVER they are.
Since everyone is all lathered up about the “ethics debate of the day” (fat shaming), I find myself curious.
When was the last time the public GAVE a good goddamn about “ethics”?
People speed, talk on their cell phones while driving, engage in all sorts of “unethical behavior”…pretty much on a daily basis. Most rarely stop and think about it. They are much more likely to think of OTHER people’s behavior when the topics of ethics comes up, than their own. Several years back, the chief ethicist (yes, an actual job) at Princeton University caught NINE kinds of hell for suggesting that we were finally to the point of rationing health care…and that it was more ethical to treat people who could be cured, than to use the resources on those who cannot. It was difficult to think about. But it was a reality.
That dingbat Sarah Palin called it “death panels”. That would suggest that we all had equal access to basic health care now…and she whined about people killing off the handicapped. Nice try. But if you know anyone who ever waited for a transplant organ, you know a bit more about real life. Because the demand is so great, and the donor pool so small, doctors were forced to come up with a system of elimination. “First come, first served” wasn’t cutting it. So they came up with guidelines based in ethics.
Who gets the kidney? The 90 year old, or the 30 year old?
Bear in mind, a healthy kidney has a 30 year lifespan. (Bet you never knew that…donor organs are not forever.)
People who need organs due to personal abuse (lungs for smokers, kidneys or livers for addicts or alcoholics) are exempt from most donor lists, or given the very lowest priority. The logic is that you contributed to your illness. Someone who got kidney disease as a result of genetics did not. No one is saying you DESERVE it…but they are saying that someone else should not take second fiddle to your issues.
The final qualification is the one that most people find the most difficult.
Who will benefit the most? Who will get the longest run? Once you are on the lists, the sickest people tend to move to the top…with exceptions. Multiple organ failure may disqualify you. (Yes, they could give you a kidney, but if your liver is also failing, should they?)
Ethics is about asking hard questions.
But these days, people (that would be you and I) don’t seem to do that much. A friend said something interesting the other day. He said that “Liberals want to give everyone everything…pie in the sky.” And my immediate thought was “Yes, but conservatives love to pretend that the playing field is level, everyone has a shot, and “hard work” pays off…all the while ignoring how hard the working poor actually DO work…just to stay alive.”
It occurred to me later that the reason most large problems go unsolved is because they truly have no “easy” answers. And anyone who thinks they do is a drooling idiot. Education? The entire system needs to be re-done. No one wants to. They mule and whine about expenses, and not approving of the changes that might be made…and end up wasting more money on a broken system. Brilliant. Corrections? Get tough on crime! But don’t build more prisons, and don’t spend ANY money on the ones we have. Privatization was proven to be an expensive mistake with prisons…but citizens resent spending money on “criminals”. SO they spend MORE.
So now we’re back to ethics. Thinking of solutions to DIFFICULT questions. I think the “fat shaming” ethicist should go back to school. He is ignoring way too much. And he should be focusing on something useful…not something that gives people the excuse to do what they already did. Why don’t we shame people who don’t have organ donor cards? Why don’t we make people who hurt someone else in an accident put a special tag on their cars, so people will know what they did? They used to brand people—so the public would know what you did wrong. Now? We settle for encouraging cruelty.
My…we’ve come a long way.
I also just got a front page pick from Mad Swirl…
http://madswirl.com/content/poetryforum.html
That’s two in three months.
If I do a third, I am listed as a “contributing poet”, and they asked me to submit a bio with my next poem…so people will know who I am.
EEEEEEP!
Just got back in from recording a local cable show.
For Poets.
Not kidding.
It went well. I did not toss my cookies, shake or CLICK.
(A few years back, I did a Princeton show where I punctuated EVERY LINE by clicking my tongue, and I had no idea I was doing it.)
Which is balmy, compared to our expected low of 4 tonight.
Single digits…brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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